I recently opened up my Instagram DMs to eating disorder and recovery questions, a practice I tend to participate in on a weekly basis. I’ve been thinking about one particular exchange ever since. I’ll drop it below:
For those with a history of disordered eating, for anyone enduring a complicated relationship with the term “healthy”, food can easily consume a huge portion of the mind. When I first began true recovery (I had a few fruitless attempts that came before), all I could think about was food. I feared it, and yet I craved it. I had restricted myself for so long that part of me saw recovery as a free-for-all, the perfect excuse to finally just get to eat. You mean I had to eat? It felt like a dream.
But I was terrified that this newfound freedom would run untethered, that I would lose control, that I’d eat into oblivion. And thus, I feared food during this time. The power it could possibly have over me.
All I’m gonna say is this: roasted sweet potato and mashed banana is nature’s greatest, sweetest, most loving gift that I am unworthy of enjoying but damn grateful to be able to. A really long, run-on style way of saying I’m currently obsessed with this flavor combo. I decided to serve it the justice it deserves and toss it up with some chocolate…if you weren’t drooling before you are surely are now (?) I love taking a few slices of this on the go for work breakfast or ending my day with a piece at tea time. (Yes I have tea every single night)! Okayyyyyyy find the recipe below 🙂
I wrote this paper for my Religion, Theology, and New Media class. We were asked to write on a topic of our choice, and to analyze that topic from both religious and media perspectives. Since this course is research-focused, we also had to conduct research to support a hypothesis. I chose to research how religious fasting rituals are practiced and approached in modern day society, one that is seeing a rise in eating disorders due to media influence. In this paper I share some of the personal stories and reflections my followers submitted and found them incredibly insightful.
I wrote this paper for my Intro to Digital Technology and Emerging Media Class. Our prompt was to choose one topic from our class discussions and expand on it further. I was intrigued by our conversations on wearable technology and fitness trackers, and how these numbers communicated a sense of self to the user. We called this the “quantified self”. This paper argues that fitness trackers neglect the subjectivity of health and instead push a “one-size-fits-all” mentality. I suggest that wearable technology complicates efforts to live intuitively and can trigger unhealthy, addictive behavior.
If you’re ever looking for me, you can almost *always* find me in the kitchen. I like to think of it as HRHQ (healthful radiance headquarters) because it’s where allllll my work gets done. It’s my favorite room in the house and I love it most when it smells like cookies. These vegan oatmeal chocolate chip cookies to be exact. But most of the it smells like roasted veggies, which isn’t a bad thing.
I’m not one to full-out “meal prep” but at the beginning of each week my present self is always thanking my past self for preparing some veggies, starches, proteins, and dips/spreads. I use these to make my favorite loaded bowl for lunch or dinner. Sounds like a ton of work but when it’s done efficiently and with care, it can be therapeutic. Or maybe that’s just me.
Today, I’m finally sharing exactly what goes on in this space creative space of mine. Below you’ll find everything from veggie prep to pantry staples to product recs to make your cooking space your happy place too.
Ever since I started my internship this semester I’ve been meal prepping different variations of breakfast breads to slice up and take on the go with me. My favorite thing is getting to the office, settling into a sound-proof phone booth (I work at a WeWork…so if you know, you know) and starting the day off with two hearty slices of my favorite flavor combos.
My eating disorder is Easter 2011, around 8:30 P.M.
My mom clears the table for the dessert spread. I’m wearing a blue Abercrombie tank top tucked into a floral skirt. My stomach is bloated, stretching the band of the skirt so I can’t see my toes. I look down. Then I look up. Greeted by dessert. I slide into a seat next to my cousins and dive in. Three of this, two of those, a couple glasses of milk…what’s that? My sister offers to make hot chocolate for everyone. She makes me two because “I have a big appetite guys”. As if that wasn’t clear.